Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket, then I looked around the room and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Anderson Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84 percent more often than any their utensil. This represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel is prepared to deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare spoon. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was rather impressed. The waiter served our main course and I continued to look around. I then noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. My curiosity got the better of me and before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there? "Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest room."

"How so?", I asked. "See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening the time spent in the rest room by 76.39 percent."

"Okay, that makes sense, but . . . if the string helps you get it out, how do you put it back in?"

"Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

· Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

· Betty Botter had some butter,But," she said, "this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter-that would make my batter better." So she bought a bit of butter, better than her bitter butter, And she baked it in her batter, and the batter was not bitter. So 'twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

· A big black bug bit a big black bear,made the big black bear bleed blood.

· The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

· She sells sea shells by the sea shore. The shells she sells are surely seashells. So if she sells shells on the seashore, I'm sure she sells seashore shells. Shy Shelly says she shall sew sheets.

· A flea and a fly flew up in a flue. Said the flea, "Let us fly!" Said the fly, "Let us flee!" So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

· Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches?

· Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.

· A bitter biting bittern Bit a better brother bittern, And the bitter better bittern Bit the bitter biter back. And the bitter bittern, bitten, By the better bitten bittern, Said: "I'm a bitter biter bit, a lack!"

· Mr. See owned a saw. And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw

See,Which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See's saw

before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not

have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's

seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because

See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw!

· How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

· He would chuck,he would,as much as he could,and chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

· Which witch wished which wicked wish?

· Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep. The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed shilly-shallied south. These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack;sheep should sleep in a sack

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: THE BOSS
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help. If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer
patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about,
asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness,
ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Should you decide to share this with a friend; Thank you, you may have touched their life in ways you will never know

by, God...........

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management. He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?" The students' answers ranged from 20gmto 500gm.

The lecturer said, "It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is Ok. If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier. "What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again.

"We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on. "So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a moment if you can. Pick it up again later when you have rested... "

Rest and relax.

Life is short, enjoy it!

Well, some of us try harder than others. According to two recent polls, 36% of elderly parents say their grown children have failed to help them in a time of need in the past five years. And that doesn't even include all those parents who can't remember. Perhaps poor memory is a good thing. If I'm ever an aging parent, I want to remember my children as the most loving and caring people. And if they're not, I want to forget. But the only thing I'll probably forget is to put them in my will.

Let's face it: Parents can be a pain at times. They expect so much out of you. Do this, do that, eat this, eat that, marry this, marry that. There's no satisfying them. But you have to overlook your entire childhood to turn your back on your parents.

There are so many reasons to be grateful to them. Here are just a few:

☺ They didn't abort you. Yes, some of them easily could have, but they chose to accept at least 18 years of responsibility. Sure, you brought them lots of joy, but you also brought them lots of migraines. Thanks to you, they had to invest more money in aspirin than in the stock market.

☺ They changed your diaper about 2,750 times. You may have many talents today, but for the first years of your life, your only talent was soiling a diaper. Soon after that, you developed another talent: wetting the bed. You were so good at that, they thought you'd do it for the rest of your life.

☺ They forced you to do your homework. You preferred to watch cartoons on television, but they knew you couldn't make a career out of that. Unless you ended up on welfare. They encouraged you to earn good grades and graduate from school. They didn't want you to sell drugs for a living, without going to pharmacy school.

☺ They lost so much sleep worrying about you, they haven't yet caught up. That's why they have to go to bed at 7 p.m. They'd have to sleep continuously for five years to make up for your puberty alone.

☺ They spent a small fortune on you. Without you, they could have vacationed every year in the Bahamas and bought a sports car -- instead of that totally uncool station wagon. And they could have bought lots of fancy appliances and furniture, items that are guaranteed to never talk back or ask for allowances.

☺ They were so proud of you. Why do you think they took one billion photos of you? You weren't that cute. They even snapped shots of you taking a bath, as though that was some big achievement. When you took your first step, they acted like you had walked on the moon. They wanted to tell everybody, even the mail carrier. When you spoke your first word, they wanted to put an announcement in the newspaper. They wanted to call NDTV, AAZ TAK, STAR NEWS and CNN.

Consider yourself lucky if you have two parents or even just one. You can't replace a parent. You can't go to the store and buy one, even if you're as loaded as Bill Gates.

Parents aren't perfect, but chances are, no one will ever love you the same way. Especially if you act the way you did.

I, MISS U MOM, MISS U DAD !!! (Shailesh)

enjiyed reading - just sharing with you all !!!!! - shailesh

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not! faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing

Idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge.

He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it

could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After

much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed

Concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be Over come. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a

Tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington

was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.

"We told them so."

"Crazy men and their crazy dreams."

"It`s foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project

Should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever. He tried to inspire and pass on

his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment. It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an Idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife. He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on

His wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed.

Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a

tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his

determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute

to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that Over comes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem Very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realized with Determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.